Making friends after college, when you're no longer living on campus and close to all your friends, is hard. I didn't really realize the impact it had on me until I was on break from my first year of law school and I had no one to hang out with. It made me feel very alone, and after a while I wanted to be alone more than I wanted to be with other people.
I knew that wasn't healthy or really making me happy, it just got comfortable.
I met my best friend in school, and we hung out once and that was it. Most friendships aren't that way. I got lucky with her. But branching out beyond my best friend was tough. I didn't know how to meet people. And I am certainly not logging into Bumble BFF. I would rather die. So, my options were limited. Now the question you're probably asking is "Cici, why not met more people from school? It's so easy to meet friends, blah blah blah." Yeah, no. To me, school is school, and I know it is temporary. It feels like high school here. And, after being stuck with the same people in all of your classes and study things, you need to branch out. Your life is not all school, remember that.
Anyways, my best friend started seeing her college friends again and she brought me along. The girls were super nice and really wanted to get to know me, which as we all know, it's sometimes not that way. Although things were great, establishing yourself in a friend group can be tough. I know I felt like a friend of a friend for a while.
My mom always told me, "To have a friend, you have a to be a friend," cheesy I know, but it does ring true. I realized that I would go to anything that they invited me to, but I was nervous to invite them anywhere. You have to make an effort. I invited everyone over to my place for a game night, and everyone came and had a great time. And now I feel a lot closer to everyone.
Which leads me to my next point, you have to show up to things. Yes, I know, and I get nervous and anxious too, but that's honestly, just part of life. You would want people to show up to your things, so you must show up to theirs. Showing up and trying gets you farther than hiding in a corner at home. Harsh, but it's real.
Don't be nervous meeting your friend's friends. Be you and don't hide. If it doesn't work out, then it wasn't meant to be and there is better out there. Don't force it but also be yourself. And most importantly, give it time. My friend group took a while to build, but it led to something I think is really great and makes me happy. Rome was not built in a day. Stay true to yourself and stick with it, I promise its worthwhile.
With love and lightheartedness,
Cici
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