I Skipped Barristers

I went last year, and I was in a weird place with a guy who also goes to school with me. I also didn't have many friends in law school. I had my best friend there with me, but I think we both felt very awkward there. And the people I knew a little got very drunk and decided that was the time to have conversations about my dating life. 

Now I know what you're thinking, 'what did this girl do,' but honestly diving into the entire thing is draining and I still have a 12-hour school day after I write this, so we're going to give the brief overview. I met this guy at the start of the school year, and we became very good friends. We would constantly be texting and talking and would see each other almost every day. Safe to say eventually both sides caught feelings. We started hanging out outside of school and I thought everything was going fine. 

That was until I found out he had a girlfriend the entire time.

Anyways, back to the story of law school prom. Well, he brought her to law school prom and of course it was really awkward. And, all my classmates thought we were dating so you can imagine how many people wanted to find out what was going on. I had stopped speaking to him and he wouldn't stop texting me. Some people saw he texted me while we were all there and decided to give me a lecture on how I didn't deserve this. Honestly, at that moment, I already knew that, I didn't need random drunk people telling me that. I just wanted to pretend that it didn't bother me, like he didn't exist. The amount of people that wanted to get involved was stupid. And clearly most were just your run of the mill common gossip vultures. 

Yes, I know this was one experience and he's out of my life, so it won't happen again, but I realized something. Most of the people talking to me were gossip vultures trying to get the latest on that situation. I will say, I didn't give in even though I was upset. I held my composure, and you would have never known it bothered me as much as it did. And I'm proud of that. But those aren't real friends or people you can trust. 

I knew this year I would feel awkward again, especially because my best friend doesn't go to my school anymore. And although I've made better friendships with some people in school, it wasn't enough to get me over that hurdle. I'm also getting over some insecurities with myself and I knew having to dress up would make me spiral. (this might be most of the reason if I'm thinking about it)

Instead, I spent the entire day with my friends, and I know I had more fun than I would've there. My classmates keep asking me why I didn't go and if I regret it. But truthfully, I don't. I'm really happy with my decision. And who knows, maybe I'll go next year, maybe not. But I know I'll make the right decision for myself. 

Really, I don't know if I can offer any advice with this subject. Clearly, I'm not the person to ask. All I can say, is do what makes you happy, not what you feel pressured to do. 

With love and lightheartedness,

Cici